Build you map

First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry. I’ve been flying around many papers and people lately and you deserve all my attention. You are worth it! So now that many ideas have been dancing in my head, while I flew on a full agenda let’s talk about the bus chronicles.

Think about it, if we are “too good” we are considerated too sensitive and dumb; but if we come out strong and confident, we are considered “bitches”. If you doubt this is true, go to your nearest bookstore, you’ll find a book called “Why men marry bitches” and many that came after that one, which is just trying to boost your self-confidence. But why self-confidence should be associated with being mean, egocentric or, a “bitch” and so forth?

In these scenes, both real, there is another issue going on: the conception that women need a man in order to say no. Why? This also happens to men, but I’m discussing this scenes. When did we miss the class that showed us how to say no? How can it be that we are so frighten? Fear shouldn’t stop us. We are our own best enemy. So next time, someone insists say “no”, and when they ask why you said it, take a deep breath, don’t feel bad and say I said no because I wanted to… And as I saw in a TV show once, “what part of no don’t you understand, the “n” or the “o””.

You should start by asking yourself what are your limits. Feel free to write them down. You shouldn’t be ecstatic, so with time and new experiences you will develop different feelings, interests and you will have new standards. That is ok. Make your own map. Make your own life. Ask yourself, what do I like and dislike? I’m eager to hear you, but I’m more excited to know that you will take time to hear your own voice answering those questions.
[Image by silvernight.org]


Part I- Bus chronicles

Scene 1

Man: “How are you doing…”
Woman: “Fine”
Man: “Hey precious you have a cell phone?”
Woman: (silence)
Man: “If you have a boyfriend, that’s ok, I’ll won’t call you, but if not…you can give me your number and we’ll keep in touch, you know?”

Scene 2

Man: “How are you doing…”
Woman: “Fine”
Man: “Hey precious you have a cell phone?”
Woman: “Yes”
Man: “Well, can you give me your number and we can keep in touch? If you have a boyfriend I understand, I wouldn’t call”
Women: “I don’t have a boyfriend but I don’t wish to give you my number”
Man: “Why? If you don’t have anybody, what’s the problem?”
Women: “There’s no problem, I don’t want to”
Man: “I don’t get you, I see why you don’t have a boyfriend, me, wanting to be friendly and you get all bitchy, whatever”