How much is too much? In a recent article published by Yahoo they expressed nine reasons explaining why people cheat. They reasons were:
4-Because they let you
7-Confirmation of Attractiveness
9-They don’t consider it cheating even though you might
For the explication of these nine reasons and the whole article click here
Reading this article I got to wonder, how importance is the physical part of the relationship. I questioned how much is too much or too less. How many times roles have defined who has the “right” to ask for it, versus the one that “should” please the other one because “they are supposed to”. Now what is “the physical” part of the relationship. What is cheating? If you are looking for a fling, non attachment, non compromise these questions may not make sense. But what about a serious committed relationship are these questions relevant, definitely.
The physical part of a relationship is relevant, very importance, but it’s not everything. If a serious committed relationship is the goal, then the question should be: “can I imagine myself with this person for a long time, without getting tired of their kisses, hugs, caresses and sex”. Now if the answer is yes, “can you imagine yourself with that person excluding the physical part?” I have had friends that have stayed in a relationship, often unhealthy, because they like “how they complement each other in bed”. Besides that, they have seen each other fighting, insulting each other, they cannot complete a conversation or have too much days that go by without it because if not fights become bigger. Now the main question is: how much is too much?
I have hated all my life hearing men in talk shows say that because they are men, and “they have needs that exceed women”, they “had the right to, and had to” cheat in order to complete their desire. Gender have been used as an excuse in sex, and has played and enormous role in how sex has developed in history. Even now that women have come out of their shelter and asked for physical expressions and contact, many are shadowed by these past that told them for centuries that they were made to please, not to be pleased in that area. Maybe that’s the reason, besides the fact that more women are working and work becomes the main area to find a lover, people are surprised to now that women cheat almost the same as men. Cheaters are something around 60% men, 40% women. Many cannot believe it.
Is it really the physical part the main reason why people cheat? If so, isn’t society giving too much attention to sex. Everybody is affected by the constant media and ads that swear on the motto: “sex sells”. If you not believe it, take a look at billboards and ads in a magazine, how much are they that have women almost naked, suggestive positions, things that look like parts of the body hidden in subliminal messages. For example:
Today is a day to ask yourself, how much is too much or too less? What do I want in that physical area? Do I want a man or women that are sweet in bed, but never give public kisses or hugs? Do I want this to be an important part of the relationship? Do I want to be spontaneous or would I prefer to have a quota of “x times per week”? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself these questions, know yourself. After you know what you want, don’t keep it to yourself, be ready and prepare yourself to scream those words that society has oppress for so many years in that area. Today come out and say: “I want this”. And if in a serious committed relationship dare to say also: today will be days where we will please each other, without being selfish ask, “What do you want?”