C'est la vie

C’est la vie means “such is life”. After counting weeks and weeks of possible topics a topic found me: death. It is interesting to start talking about life in connection with death but they are connected.

The concept of life itself has many views, from those who believe in a divine intervention on the creation of new life, the role of motherhood in the identity of women and the circumstances in which a baby is born. After being born, we start a process of developing identities and within that identity formed by social structures and education, as well as our support group, we get to find a purpose. The belief that we lack a purpose is an option on itself, for we act in terms of what we believe and what is around us. We use definitions and cultural symbols, while we pursue goals inside definitions we give to things.

Then why is death so feared, if it’s the one thing we know is going to happen. Is it feared because is the circumstance of our life that we cannot change, and by that we try to avoid it, so it doesn’t get to us as a surprise? Death itself can be seen worst or better by how we lived. How we feel we lived is one important thing that will make our goodbyes easier. We will always have something unaccomplished because our desires can overcome our capacities, but we can “rest” better if we feel we did what we wanted to do. The reality of life can be divided into what is and what we would want to happen.

We could wish some laws change, but it won’t happen on its own. We can wish for health, but we have to prevent disease. We could want love and a fairy tale, but we could be lacking passion. We could wish becoming millionaires, but we need to work a lot to obtain it, or come with a great idea like “Facebook” by Mark Zuckerberg which is a rare case of a billionaire in a short period of time. However, he is an example on how when nobody believed him, he went ahead with his idea and did it. I guess we really can’t expect to follow a certain plan?

Can we measure life with what we gain? There is a song called the “Age of Aquarius” that says how do we measure life, and it says “what about love?” Why don’t we measure life with feelings, what we feel is blessings, accomplishments, desire, passion, will. We come back at the very beginning, definitions, what it is, how we define it. It’s those 5W’s of journalists, that we encounter everyday: who, what, when, where, why?

Then you have those that die while they are living. They die slowly because they are in a position they don’t want to be. They die when they don’t know themselves. They die when they live in fear of emotions. They get killed with deception of people who betray them. A piece of them dies when their vision of life, not their life per se (breathing, biology, etc) is different from what they are.

So now I come to “el día de los muertos”, another interesting perspective started by Mexicans about death seemed as a celebration and a tribute to those who used to live. It started with a common practice of conserving skulls as trophies to showcase them in rituals that symbolize death and being reborn. At the end of the day, what we mourn the most is the opportunity of repeating moments, or creating moments that will not come back because of death. On that matter, some opportunities may not come back because of time and changes. You could go to the same city, same place, you could go home for Christmas and everything will be a memory of what it was.

So today, I make a call and a toast for death. All kinds of death, the ones that are physical and the ones we encounter each day. Is the day to reinvent yourself, define what you want and go for it. If there is something you don’t like about your life right now, let it go, declare it dead. Then celebrate, as “el día de los muertos”, what it was, celebrate it was part of your history and move on to what you want now. BECAUSE WE ARE ALIVE, WE ARE SUBJECTS OF CHANGE. There are a lot of changes around us, but we have the right to change or minds and feelings.

Now, this fairy, for the end of the year, understands that not every fairytale should end up with a crystal shoe. I feel free as a crow (my favorite bird), unique as a blue rose (my favorite flower) and I celebrate those who passed away and thank them for what they gave me. Now I’ll expect someone that understands that this shoe for every princess is something that should be personalized. No crystal heals for me, give me boots. That’s how I will be alive till I die.

Let’s start the journey now, the adventure, before we grow old thinking what we should have done instead of celebrating what we have accomplished.