There comes a time in your life where you’ve got to admit “they told you so”. When you start analyzing what happened, after your out of that, you notice that the signals where there all along. Then you punish yourself for a while because you cannot believe you let that happen, and then notice that maybe you knew all along, you just didn’t want to believe it.
Sometimes you believe in people that tell you they care. Then, when your emotions go through a rollercoaster, the worst time of your life, they seem to walk away. -“If you love me, why you leave me now!”- you seem to think; “you have been lying all along I see, and to think I putted my life at risk for you!”. So many times in life, people make promises they cannot keep or that they don’t mean. And so many times more, people fall for those false promises with a division: what you wish it would happen, and what is really happening.
You see yourself walking with your head down, feeling powerless, used, stupid and sad, very sad. You blame yourself, as many people victims of abuse blame themselves, when they shouldn’t. You get depressed because deep inside you know that they didn’t change at the last moment and showed you a different side of them you didn’t know. You don’t start the battle to the person that hurts you, on the contrary, you start the battle on yourself because you notice that you were walking away from the truth all along. You didn’t want to hear it, or see it, because you needed to fill what was empty and sometimes in your solitude you were comfortable with anybody that could fill that space. You were so needed of a lift, that you turned yourself away to find somebody that you thought could help, meanwhile you left yourself being handled and by doing that you let yourself down.
You’ve got to raise your head admitting you didn’t want to see the truth. The person that hurt you now is the same person that hurt you then, when you didn’t say anything; when that didn’t feel right. You have noticed you wanted to believe in the fairy tale and the castle you created in your story, while noticing it was nothing near that. You started having impulses of what you wanted to do and needed, and forgot to listen to your feelings and the consequences of letting yourself go. You may be sad now, because someone that said and promised isn’t there anymore; but you are sadder for the fact that you feel you knew that was going to happen. That happened because you started to shut down your voice.
It is time to rise against the silence of injustice and control. The time has come to speak, but first and foremost to listen. Is about not dividing yourself into what you think you want and what you really need. It’s giving you the opportunity of getting out of the cycle you have made for yourself. It is time to rise and face the darkness, to win the battle over your worst enemy: you.
A lot of people say that you should do what you love doing, that you should follow your heart or your mind and go ahead with a plan. But how will you do that, if you don’t even know yourself. What do you want? What do you need? Who can give that to you? Do you know you deserve it? Are you ready? As I read somewhere the other day: what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Give yourself a chance, go on, celebrate who you are, battle your worries and take out of your life those who take your energy away, who give you problems, who give you nightmares.
Love yourself and understand you are worth every second possible. Go on… tell that person that left you down, tell that person that fights all the time, tell that person that pressures you, tell that person that puts you down: NO MORE! YOU CAN WIN THIS BATTLE! YOU CAN! YOU ARE WORTH IT! TAKE OUT THOSE ENERGY SUCKERS AND LIVE LIFE-once and for all- FOR WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT OTHERS WANT FROM YOU…
I’m rooting for you!